MICHELLE DUFF
If you don't bond with your baby immediately, you're a bad mother, right?
Wrong ? and it's not compulsory for pregnant women to have a "glow" about them, either.
These common misconceptions are tackled, along with other motherhood myths, by researcher Anita Darrah in her PhD thesis, `The Distressing Case of Modern Mothering', which seeks to pinpoint why so many women struggle after giving birth.
More than 180 women were involved in the study, which found women often held unrealistic pre-pregnancy expectations that could lead to postnatal depression, stress and anxiety when not realised.
Romanticised notions about motherhood were rife, with a "mythical image of mothering and mothers" perpetuated by society and culture.
Ms Darrah, a clinical psychologist whose own battle with postnatal depression inspired her research, found that becoming a mother was traditionally considered a natural, non-problematic event.
While this was true for many, research suggested one in five modern women experienced postnatal depression; an even greater number suffered postnatal anxiety.
Ms Darrah, who is graduating from Massey University in Palmerston North alongside 1325 others this week, said motherhood had changed vastly, as home births ? followed by long periods of family care ? were replaced by clinical, hospital births and "how-to" guidebooks on mothering. The power was taken out of women's hands.
"Rather than a natural phenomenon, pregnancy and childbirth was now a medical event, and it was dangerous and foolhardy for women to undertake such an endeavour without the guidance and direction of experts," Ms Darrah wrote.
In this confusing climate, the clash between modernity, tradition, expectations and reality made motherhood a "distressing" time.
A focus group of 10 women reported feelings of inadequacy after childbirth, with a perceived loss of status and a shattered image of themselves as the ideal mother.
A survey of 175 women aged 18-36 found more than 69 per cent agreed with key myth statements like: "Mothers have an instant bond with their baby," "Having a baby cements a relationship," and "Not bonding quickly can have long-term consequences".
This confirmed that an image of an idealised mother was held by the majority of young women, Ms Darrah said.
"Women in New Zealand struggle with the transition to mothering. They struggle because they are unsupported. They struggle because they are exposed to mythical images of motherhood which set them up to feel failure. They struggle because successive governments have systematically removed support for families and devalued the mothering role."
Women should be supported by health professionals who should discuss expectations and encourage realistic understandings of childbirth, she said.
Along with Ms Darrah and her Massey graduands, more than 2000 students are graduating from Victoria University in Wellington this week.
- ? Fairfax NZ News
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